Coexistence Corner

Should People Follow Others?

By Nate Feldman

There are many times in our lives where the decisions we make are based on what others tell us is the right choice more than what we feel is correct.  These decisions can range from simple things, such as the type of clothing we wear, or where we are going out for dinner on a particular night, to bigger things such as who we get married to, or what kind of career we have.  However, is this a good thing?  Should we make choices based on what others tell us to do?  In my view, I think we should always listen to what others have to advise us, but we also need to make our decisions from our own judgments.

There is nothing wrong with getting input from others.  We don't know everything, and there is nothing wrong in admitting that.  It is wise to take guidance from people who may have more experience or wisdom in a number of areas.  When you are looking for a job, for example, it's good to hear from people who are in particular fields to learn how people get real careers doing that line of work.  If you have no experience yourself, you will benefit tremendously from their insights.  Of course, listening to them does not mean blindly following them.  You can't just make your final decision because someone said that is what you need to do.  Hear what they have to say and then think about if that is something that fits you well.  In the end, you know yourself better than they do.

Now, if someone tells you to do something that you clearly know is the wrong thing to do, you have to know how to follow your instincts.  When I say wrong, I don't mean necessarily doing a bad thing like committing a crime.  I mean something that you know is not the best thing for you to do.  This can include a person giving you advice on how to succeed that you know will not work for yourself for whatever reason.  If your instincts tell you this is a bad thing, then it probably is.

Of course, this is easier said than done.  A lot of people don't know how to trust themselves.  They question whether their instincts are correct.  They also may admire the person who is giving the wrong advice and can't imagine that this person may be incorrect in this situation.  Being able to do this comes with having confidence.  If you believe in yourself, it is a lot easier to tell someone, or a group of others, that you disagree with what they are saying.  Of course, there are cultural and societal factors that play a role in these kind of decisions as well, but I have seen people from even very strictly collective cultures find ways to chart their own paths.

In the end, we see things through our own eyes, not those of others.  If your senses or instincts are telling you to do something, then there is good reason for you to do it.  Even if this seemingly goes against others around you, it is important to have faith in oneself and do the thing you know to be right.